


Tears and Smoke

by tomaka



Series: Forgotten Legends [1]
Category: Gears of War (Video Games)
Genre: Alcohol, Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Romance, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22779709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomaka/pseuds/tomaka
Summary: The fight is over and a dear friend and brother is gone. JD and Kait are grief stricken at the loss of their friend, and in the wake of the Kraken battle they comfort each other as best they can. Set immediately after Gears 5.
Relationships: Kait Diaz/James "JD" Fenix
Series: Forgotten Legends [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1668619
Comments: 9
Kudos: 23





	Tears and Smoke

She needed to get her armour off.

She needed a shower.

She needed to sleep.

She needed her friends.

With that last thought, Kait felt the swell of grief rise in her chest again.

Del was dead. She kept replaying that horrible moment in her mind, looping it in a never-ending nightmarish reel of torment.

When her eyes closed Kait saw the two of them hanging there, JD and Del, and the monstrosity that had once been her mother. She could feel the hilt of her knife in hand as the air was strangled from her, as she blinked through darkening eyesight to try and aim the blade.

And in the end JD had fallen free and the crack of Del’s neck had echoed in the shattered courtyard. 

How she wished she could reverse the clocks and find a way to save him. She wished she could have stabbed her knife deep into the skull of the Swarm queen, saving both her friends with one strike.

But she hadn’t and now Del was dead.

Not that she would have left JD to die either. Her relationship with the scarred and somber Fenix was rougher than with Del, but she loved them both equally. JD’s death would have hurt as much as Del’s.

“Kait,” Marcus said, his deep voice gentle against the thrum of the Raven. 

Kait jarred from her thoughts to realize the helicopter had landed and she was the last to file out. The whine of the blades was winding down and she had been so lost in her own despair that she couldn’t recall the flight back to the COG Government House in New Ephyra.

“Yeah,” she said, shaking her head and running a dirty glove over her face. Her boots hit the cement with a muted thump and she followed the old Gear and Cole and Paduk and Fahz and JD _and not Del._ They sluggishly padded their way through the barricades and the soldiers surrounding the capitol building, and Kait wished again for a shower.

“Captain Fenix!” A Black Onyx officer came jogging up, rifle in hand. JD looked at her wearily and Kait could still see where his tears had tracked through the soot and dust on his face. “The First Minister wants to see you for your debrief.”

“Tell her it’ll have to wait.” He growled out, brushing past the Onyx guard. 

“Not a request, Captain,” the black-clad officer said, her voice much firmer. “Now.” It earned her a withering glare from JD, but it was Fahz who was the voice of reason.

“We just went toe to toe with this new Swarm queen, yeah? Sounds like something way above our pay grade. Let’s fill Jinn in and let her sort the bitch out, and we can get those showers we rightfully deserve.” The snark was there, but there wasn’t much energy behind it.

JD switched his glare to Fahz for a moment, then gave a defeated sigh. “Lead the way,” he grunted, giving the Onyx guard an acquiescing swat of his hand.

Just like the flight in the Raven, Kait didn’t remember much of what happened after that. Her feet felt too heavy as they pulled her after the group, and when she trailed behind Paduk appeared at her side and helped guide her along with a hand on her back.

“Come now, child.” he muttered in his thick accent. “You’ll have your time to rest soon enough.” It almost sounded as though the old Gorasnayan was trying to be comforting, and Kait shot him a surprised look that the nomad pointedly ignored.

Jinn was surrounded by advisors and soldiers and military brass of all sorts, trying to sort out what had happened in the battle and what could be done next. Baird appeared shortly after, and he and Marcus handled most of the talking. To her credit, Jinn listened to everything they had to say without interrupting and without any snide, overbearing comments. At the news of Del’s death, her features even softened slightly and she gave a gentle bow of her head.

If anyone had tried to question Kait directly, she didn’t notice. Her eyes stayed fixed on some invisible point in the middle distance, and she numbly followed JD, Fahz and Marcus out when they’d been dismissed.

“We’ve done all we can today.” Marcus said when they’d made it to the hall. “Get cleaned up and get some rest. We’ll meet at Baird’s lab tomorrow, oh-nine-hundred.” He gave his son another reassuring shake of the shoulder, and Kait received a similar, gentler gesture. Then the old Gear was gone and she was making her way to the armoury with Fahz and JD.

Kait was simultaneously disappointed and grateful for their nine o’clock meeting time the next morning. On one hand, it provided them with over fourteen hours to recuperate after the battle, more time than any Gear could ask for during wartime. On the other hand, she knew fourteen hours wouldn’t be enough time to cure their exhaustion and burning muscles.

Despite the commotion in the armoury as Gears filtered in and out, the three of them were silent as they stowed their weapons and stripped off their armour. Without the heavy metal plates pressing against her Kait realized just how sore she was. She absently rolled her shoulders and saw the other two do the same. Fahz was sitting on a bench and pressing his fingers into his leg just above his prosthetic, and more than once she saw JD flinch and press the anesthetic button on his arm’s medical membrane. 

“I’m about ready to hit the fucking floor.” Fahz grunted, standing stiffly and shutting his locker with a loud clang. He had exchanged his cracked glasses for a fresh pair with yellow lenses.

“Yeah,” Kait agreed. “Question is, shower first? Or sleep first?” 

Fahz opened his mouth to make what was no doubt going to be an inappropriate sexual remark—Kait could see that wicked gleam in his eyes—but some sense of decency hit him and he shut his mouth again. Maybe he’d finally learned that Kait could usually hit back with a stinging rebuke, but more likely it was the sight of Del’s COG tags clutched in JD’s hand.

JD stared down at the dull metal and sighed, then looked up at Kait. Her heart broke all over again at the sight of the pain and grief and guilt there. 

“Drink.” He said roughly. “I need a drink first.” And he pushed past the two of them. Kait and Fahz exchanged a look before following JD out of the armoury.

“JD,” Kait started, catching up to the somber Fenix. She rested a hand on his uninjured arm to stop him. Whatever she was going to say to try and stop him evaporated at the sight of his watery eyes. The tears were there, ready to fall again, and Kait felt the guilt settle into her bones. “Lead the way.” She said softly, releasing the hand on his arm.

“As much as I’d enjoy a drink right now, I’ll have to pass,” Fahz started as he limped after them. After all their adrenaline had worn off, it was clear his amputation site was causing him pain. “Catch you in the morning, yeah?”

Kait gave the hobbling soldier a quick nod and Fahz veered off towards his quarters. When she turned back to JD, he was already marching down the hall. He kept his head down, refusing eye contact from anyone who recognized him.

They were both dressed in the tight under shirts and pants they used to protect themselves from their chaffing armour. The sandy grey cloth was stained with their sweat and marred with dirt and soot. Kait felt exposed in the material, so used to the two or so inches of metal that usually protected her body. It felt strange to walk without all the extra weight bearing down on her, and despite the exhaustion she felt light on her feet.

She recognized the path to JD’s quarters and watched silently as he punched in his code and the door slid open. He’d been allocated a small room as an officer, complete with a small bunk and his own sink. A row of cupboards and shelves lined the walls above the bed, and JD opened the second compartment.

Kait waited at the door as JD pulled out a bottle of clear alcohol. Some kind of vodka, from the glimpses she saw of the faded label. He unscrewed the top of the bottle and tilted it up to his mouth, taking a big gulp. The bottle dropped away but his head stayed angled back, his eyes shut as he let a little hiss out from between his clenched teeth.

JD seemed to remember her then, and he held the bottle out to her. Kait considered it for a moment then sighed and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. Gingerly, she took the alcohol from his hand and took a smaller swig. It burned down her throat, leaving a hot trail as it descended to her stomach. 

Kait winced and handed it back. “The hell is that?” She asked, watching as JD took another hit.

“Something Baird had in his lab. Gave it to me a few months back. Probably some old UIR swill.” He muttered, taking the three steps to his bunk and dropping heavily onto the mattress. The neck of the bottle dangled from his fingers, and he bowed his head until it was almost between his knees.

“That’s worse than the moonshine shit Uncle used to drink.” Kait could still feel the burn of the alcohol in her mouth and throat. It tasted almost industrial, and she wagered she could light a match and ignite her breath.

“Gets the job done.” JD raised the bottle to his lips and Kait could see his neck flex as he downed another couple mouthfuls. She sat on the mattress beside him and he pushed the bottle at her again, his eyes still focused on the floor. Kait swallowed a scalding swig, then quietly set the bottle aside.

JD’s head was bowed and Kait laid a hand on his arm, his medical membrane feeling cool to the touch but warming swiftly under her fingers. They sat in silence for a long time, Kait quietly studying the lines of muscles and tendons beneath the mesh on JD’s arm.

“What am I supposed to do without him?” He asked, his voice hoarse. JD’s head tilted up and he looked at her, a fresh tear streaking through the dirt on his face. “What are we supposed to do?”

“I don’t know,” Kait said after a small sigh. “I don’t know…”

JD’s body gave a small jerk, and Kait realized it was a silent sob. She watched, tears forming in her own eyes, as JD covered his mouth with a hand. Kait scooted closer and wrapped an arm around his back as he shook, and when he turned towards her and held her tight she buried her face into his shoulder.

He stunk of sweat and gunpowder and smoke, and she knew she probably smelled worse. It didn’t deter either of them as they embraced and cried, all the the emotions they’d left bottled up over the last few hours finally pouring out.

They clung together for a long time, neither one willing to let go of the other. Kait felt JD hiccup into her shoulder and she rubbed her hand along his back in a soothing gesture. She was shaken by Del’s death and she mourned the loss of her friend, but Del and JD had been brothers.

In the time since the Swarm had emerged, Kait’s life had been filled with loss after loss. Her mother, her uncle, her whole village. Each death had left a hole in her soul that she had patched with hatred for the Swarm.

JD’s life had been kinder, but not without its own pain. Del’s death was the greatest blow to JD in recent years, and Kait knew it would likely be the hardest thing he’d have to endure since the death of his mother.

“You should have saved him,” he said weakly as he lifted his head. With a shaky hand he palmed away the tears. “Instead of me.”

“I should have saved both of you.” She said, her brow furrowing slightly. JD gave a strange small smile and shook his head, his fingers coming up to Kait’s face and gently wiping away the tears that had streaked down her cheeks. The action was kind but succeeded in smearing more dirt across her face, not that either of them cared.

“Should have been him, after all I’ve done.” That weird smile again, and his eyes darted away and down.

“Stop, JD.” 

“The people I’ve killed, the—“

“Stop.” Kait pressed a hand to the middle of his chest and pushed him away enough to get a proper look at his face. “You can’t…you can’t change what happened to Del. I can’t either, no matter how terrible I feel about it. _She_ killed him.” When JD still didn’t meet her eyes, she pressed a hand to his jaw and forced his head up. “And the things that have happened—the decisions you’ve made—you were only doing what you thought was right. You were always looking out for other people.” Kait smiled at him, hoping she could comfort him. “You’re a good man, JD, and Del knew that.”

Kait knew her words had struck him when JD trembled and let out a pained, rushed breath. His eyes became glassy with tears just before he squeezed them shut, the tears slipping free to run down his face. JD hugged her again, the strained powerful sobs returning. 

Kait pressed her cheek against the stubble of his hair and she rocked him gently, stroking his back in the way her mother used to whenever Kait had nightmares as a child. She wondered if Anya had comforted him this way before she died. 

It took several minutes for the sobs to fade, and Kait could feel the damp spot on her shoulder where JD’s tears had soaked into her shirt. She didn’t mind, knowing he needed to cry and to let the emotion out. She knew the last few months had been hard on him and he had kept a tight lid on himself since waking up after Settlement Two. 

“Wha-what am I-I gonna do?” He asked weakly, his words catching as he sucked in uncontrollable gasps of air. “I ha-have to clean out his r-room.” JD’s strong arms held her tight as his words fluttered against her neck.

“I’ll help you. Your dad will help too.” She murmured, her lips near his ear. “You’re not alone.” Hearing the words made JD shudder in another weak sob and Kait rocked him some more, patiently waiting out the tears. 

After several minutes the bigger soldier stilled with the exception of his rough breaths. The two of them were quiet long enough that Kait felt the pull of sleep dragging her eyelids close.

“He’s still out there.” JD whimpered into her shoulder.

“What?” Kait lifted her cheek from his head and tried to look down at his face. JD lifted himself up and met her eyes, his cheeks flushed and his eyes glazed. The alcohol he’d gulped was taking effect, and Kait could feel her own modest swallows spreading warmth through her limbs. 

“Del is still out there. I can’t…” He fidgeted and looked away for a moment, then pulled back and stood up from the bunk, needing to brace a hand on the opposite wall when his balance wavered. “We can’t leave him out there.” JD wiped his forearm across his face to wick away his drying tears.

“JD, wait.” Kait rose after him.

“I just…I just left him out there.” Distress was edging it’s way into his voice, and JD began pacing in the small room.

“It’s okay,” she said softly, reaching to touch him again. JD pulled away from her and kept walking back and forth.

“I have to go get him. The transponder in his armour, it should still be online.” He pressed the heel of a hand into his temple as he paced. “I need a Raven. I’m gonna go get him.” 

“JD, no.” Kait moved forward quickly and grasped his wrist before he made it to the door. “You can’t go, not right now.”

“Why not?!” He erupted, his short temper flaring suddenly. His voice thundered off the walls of the tiny room. Kait tried not to flinch and held her tight grip on his arm, even as her tired muscles screamed. “I can’t just leave him there!” There was so much frustration and desperation in him, but none of it was directed at her. His lips were trembling as he stared at her and waited for a response, and she knew he was moments away from crying again.

“We’ll go get him, I promise. But we have to wait.” She said softly, stepping closer to him and gently grasping his other wrist, wary of the raw muscle beneath the clear sleeve. JD was shaking, but he didn’t pull away.

“I can’t, Kait.” His voice cracked, his temper fading away as quickly as it had risen. “Del doesn’t deserve this.”

“No, he doesn’t.” She agreed, feeling his hands move to hold hers. “But we need to wait. It’s still a hot zone out there, and…” Kait hesitated for a moment and JD looked at her with wide pleading eyes. “And you’re kinda drunk.”

That made him laugh, a short hiccuping sound, and his head dropped. “Yeah,” he chuckled dryly. “I’m kinda drunk.”

Kait gave him a sad smile and released his hands to slide up beside him and wrap her arm around his back. She guided him to his bed and he sagged back down. Sitting beside him again she uncurled her arm from his back and JD caught it, coiling his arm under her elbow and sliding his hand down her forearm. His grip trembled a little as he pressed his palm to hers and knitted their fingers together.

“If it’s clear,” Kait turned to look at his face. “We’ll get Del tomorrow, I promise.” He nodded, his eyes focused on a distant spot somewhere passed the floor. 

“Thank you.” JD whispered softly.

They sat together in the quiet and JD squeezed her hand. Kait returned the gesture a moment later. For several minutes they stayed like that, JD periodically clutching her hand tight and Kait responding in kind. She could feel the tension leaving his body as he leaned against her, his broad shoulders drooping with every minute. Sleep was catching up on her again and Kait let her head drop lightly onto his shoulder. He squeezed again and she reached over and covered their twined hands with her free one.

“I’m here, JD.” She said against his shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere.” Her hand was covered by his larger, warmer one, and his callused thumb brushed over the top of her knuckles.

He shifted suddenly, turning to face her more squarely and Kait lifted her head to look up at him. Blinking blearily, Kait tried to push the sleep away for a few more minutes to make sure he was okay. 

JD’s mouth moved as though he was going to say something, but it tightened into a line and his eyes drifted away.

Then he moved forward and slipped his hand around the back of her head as he pressed his lips against hers. Kait’s whole body when rigid in surprise and she reflexively squeezed JD’s hand where they still clutched between them. He squeezed back and pushed his mouth further against hers, tilting his head a little to get a better angle. He tasted of ash and alcohol and his beard brushed against her cheeks, still damp from his tears. 

“JD,” she murmured against his lips, shaking her head gently to break off the kiss. JD tugged himself back immediately.

“I’m sorry,” The words were out of his mouth almost before he’d pulled away. His hand dropped from behind her head and he shifted back to stare at the floor, his body angling slightly away in shame. “I’m…I’m drunk. I shouldn’t have done that.” He still had his other hand gripping hers and it held on tighter than before, as though he was afraid she would run.

“It’s okay,” Kait said after a moment. She was startled but understanding as she looked at the guilt on his face. JD refused to look at her even as she leaned forward to see him better.

“I’m an idiot.” JD’s face dropped into his free hand.

“It’s okay,” Kait said again, a little more firmly that time. “It’s just...it’s just not the right time.” 

JD sighed and slid his hand up his face to rub at his bristled head. “No,” he agreed softly. “It’s not.”

He finally looked at her again and one side of his mouth quirked into an apologetic smile. 

“Sorry.” Then he gave her hand another squeeze. Kait smiled back at him and tightened her hand in a returning grip. 

JD was tense again, clearly feeling uncomfortable and ashamed. Determined to ease the awkward tension, Kait forced herself to relax and lean into him. It took a minute or two, then JD’s shoulders dropped a few inches and he rhythmically thumped the base of his bed with the heel of his boot. Kait took the noise as a positive sign, and knocked the toe of her heavy boot against his and felt him return the gesture.

“I can’t…I can’t believe he’s gone.” JD uttered, breaking the silence. “He’s just…always been there, you know? Always around. Always telling me the right thing to do.” Then with an airy chuckle he added, “My conscience.” 

“I know what you mean.” Kait agreed, her cheek resting against JD’s shoulder again. They both stared aimlessly across the small room. “You can’t count on many people these days, but you could always count on Del.”

“After Settlement Two…after I messed up…I pushed you guys away. I never should have done that.” JD let out a heavy sigh. “I wish I hadn’t been that asshole.”

“You weren’t _that_ intolerable. You still had Fahz-levels of asshole-ness to aspire to, and he set the bar pretty high.” The joke earned her a quick huff of laughter from her friend before he turned somber again.

“I thought that if I just followed the rules and did things by the book, people wouldn’t get hurt anymore. I thought I could protect people if I just turned myself into the Gear Jinn wanted me to be. I didn’t realize I had distanced myself from my friends until it was too late.” His voice was a slow rumble that was almost a whisper.

“We knew that. And sure we were mad about it, but we didn’t stop caring about you. Del was always worried and trying to keep tabs on you. Even made a point of hunting down your dad a few times to check in and make sure you were okay.” She thought it would make him feel better, but after hearing her words JD gave a low hiss and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger.

“I should have been with you at Mount Kadar. I don’t know why I let things change.”

“You were there,” Another squeeze of his hand punctuated her reassurance. “When we needed you. We never would have made it this far without you.”

“Sure…” It was a half-hearted agreement, but JD made the effort to nod a little. Kait decided not to push it.

“Do you ever wonder,” He started, staring vacantly at the wall again. “What would have happened if—back on Azura—if I’d just listened to my dad and we had abandoned the Hammer silo? Left the hanger door jammed up and let the rocket explode?”

Kait lifted her head from his shoulder and fixed him with a stare that was equal parts concern and confusion. “No?” She said slowly.

“I do.” JD glanced at her briefly before his eyes focused on the far wall again. “Just think about it: if we didn’t have the Hammer of Dawn in Settlement Two, then Lizzie…well Lizzie would still be here. And me,” He lifted their intertwined hands and the clear sleeve on his arm glinted in the light. He frowned down at the injury. “I never would have pushed you guys away like that.”

“JD…”

“Just think about how better off we’d have been if I hadn’t been so reckless in Azura. So stupid.” Their hands eased back to the bed between them. “Hell, I almost got Del and me killed with that idiotic stunt, not to mention you and Dad.”

“You can’t do that to yourself. Dwelling on the ‘what ifs’ won’t do you any good.” She tried not to sound too chastising with her words, knowing a lecture was not going to help. “What’s done is done, and we can’t change that. We don’t even know if the alternate choices would have made anything any better.”

JD gave her a uncertain look and Kait set her mouth into a line, her brows dropping as she fixed him with a firm stare, unwilling to accept his doubt. Surprisingly, JD laughed.

“I missed that look.” He said, shifting right briefly to nudge his shoulder against hers. “I missed you. And Del.”

“I know.” Kait gave him a crooked smile.

“Just don’t…” His hand was gripping hers tight again. “Don’t let me push you away again. If I do, I want you to I—I dunno—tell me I’m being an idiot.” Kait laughed.

“I tried that. Several times. I think I’d have to resort to more extreme methods next time.” She softened and clutched his hand. “But I don’t think there’ll be a next time.”

JD nodded and smiled. “No, I don’t think there will.”

After a few moments, JD shifted and pushed backwards so his back was against the wall and his boots stuck off the side of the bed. He never let go of her hand, so Kait was forced to follow.

JD sighed and tilted his head back to rest it on the wall. “Ugh. I’m wiped, but…but I don’t know if I can sleep.”

Kait settled beside him, the back of her head thumping as it hit the wall. “I know what you mean.”

“How have your headaches been? The nightmares?” He asked, his head rolling against the wall to look at her.

“Better, if you’d believe it. Headaches are pretty much gone. I think when I linked into the Hive…I think that’s when they stopped.”

“Hmm.” JD made a disapproving noise and frowned.

“The nightmares though…” Kait rubbed her forehead with her free hand. “I still get those, but they’re…more normal, I guess. More based on memories, rather than visions.”

“Yeah…” JD sighed, and Kait read the silence and his face.

“You get them too, huh?” 

JD swallowed and nodded. “Yeah. It’s been…well it’s been not great. And,” another squeeze of her hand. “And after today it’s not going to get any better.”

“It’s not.” She agreed, seeing the image of the new Swarm queen in her mind’s eye. Her mother’s face, twisted and deformed by the monster that inhabited her skin. Kait hadn’t considered how much the sight of her mother’s reanimated and mutilated corpse would torment her, how her mother’s hard but affectionate voice had been warped into something foul and rotten.

Holding JD’s hand and having him close helped Kait push the thought away, and she leaned into him and the warmth he exuded. She suddenly felt cold despite the alcohol that pulsed through her system.

“We’ll deal with it.” The more confident, determined and familiar tone returned to JD’s voice for a moment. “Together.” He squeezed her hand again.

Kait smiled and squeezed back, pulling her legs up and folding them beside her so she leaned more against JD than the wall. She was getting dirt and mud on his sheets, but he didn’t complain. Her head rested heavily on his shoulder and she felt JD rest his chin on her hair.

Kait let her eyes slip shut and she listened to their breathing, feeling JD tighten his grip on her hand every few minutes. Every time she responded, not noticing her grip weakening as she finally slipped into sleep. Just before she dozed off JD’s head lifted and she felt the press of his lips and the brush of his beard against her forehead.

She blinked awake, the fog of sleep reluctant to lift just yet. Her spine ached, torqued in a way that was strange and unfamiliar. Kait groaned, her legs bunched up and stiff from the odd sleeping position.

One of her arms was slipped under the small of JD’s back and pinned in place. A wiggle of her fingers confirmed she still had circulation and feeling in the limb. Kait saw her perspective rise and fall with each of his breaths, realizing her head was resting on his stomach. Her other hand was clutched in his and held over his chest, his heart beating gently against her wrist. 

The arm with the clear medical sleeve was wrapped around her shoulders and keeping her close, and Kait peered up at his face. JD’s expression was peaceful and he snored lightly in the dark.

Based on their awkward position in the bed—JD sprawled on his back near the wall with his legs bent sideways and toward the edge, and her bundled halfway down his side—Kait assumed they must have fallen asleep sitting against the wall. At some point JD had keeled over, and since he had been responsible for holding her up, she had slid down with him. 

Kait stifled a pained hiss as she tried to lift her hips and stretch her legs, feeling the joints creak and shift. It hurt, but once her legs were straight the relief was immediate.

The snoring faded away, and Kait’s hand was gripped tightly in JD’s. She lifted her head and looked at up him, and found him blinking blearily down at her, confusion in his sleepy expression.

“Morning.” He muttered after a moment, removing his arm from her shoulders to rub at his face. “Is it morning?” JD squinted at the small digital readout on the inside of his wrist. “Yeah. Morning.”

His legs moved and Kait knew he was as stiff as she was.

“Oh man…” He moaned, grimacing as his left knee cracked as it straightened. “Do I _hurt._ ” A loud huff rushed out of his lungs as his body relaxed against the mattress.

“I don’t think there’s any part of me that doesn’t hurt.” Kait agreed. She wanted to sweep the hair out of her eyes, but JD was still gripping her hand over his chest.

“Why are you…” JD trailed off and Kait winced sympathetically as she saw the previous day’s events come flooding back to him. “Aw shit.” His eyes slipping shut, JD pinched the bridge of his broken nose and let out a shuddering breath.

“Take your time.” Kait spoke softly in the darkness. There was the faint sound of soldiers walking by outside the door, and she heard the distant automated chatter of a DeeBee. The base was evidently still on high alert, but thankfully she and JD had been left alone. 

It took JD a minute, but his breathing settled again and his eyes opened to stare at the underside of the shelving above his bed.

“How’s your head?” Kait asked. “You drank some strong stuff last night.” She was still pressed against his side, her arm trapped beneath JD’s back. He hadn’t released the hold on her other hand yet either, but Kait didn’t mind. 

“S’okay. It’s the rest of me that’s aching.” He muttered. “Today is…it’s gonna be hard, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Kait rested her head on his abdomen and listened to his breathing. She could still smell the smoke and gunpowder lingering on their clothes.

They laid there for a few minutes, neither willing to get up and face the daunting day ahead of them. Kait was almost tempted to drift back to sleep, but her spine continued to let off small sharp pangs of discomfort.

“How much time do we have?” She asked, dreading the answer. “Your dad said oh-nine-hundred, right?”

“Right. Looks like we’ve got…” JD’s hand lifted off her shoulder as he glanced at the time again. “Ninety-ish minutes to make ourselves presentable.” The arm dropped back to her shoulders, and Kait enjoyed the comfort its weight provided.

“Good, because I’m going to take the longest, hottest shower possible.”

“Me too.” His fingers toyed gently with her braid, which had frayed during the battle. Sections of Kait’s hair had singed and burned, and she could feel JD thumb at the rough spots.

Kait let herself rest for five minutes more, just enjoyed the safety and quiet of the room. Their morning meeting loomed over them though, and she sighed and lifted her head.

“Time to go.” She said, and JD gave a reluctant nod. Kait pushed herself up, but her arm was still pinned. She gave the limb a little tug and JD’s eyebrows shot up.

“Oh. Sorry.” He sat up and freed her arm and Kait pulled it back. Her skin had the lined imprint from where JD’s shirt had pressed in.

Almost as though it was an afterthought, JD released the hold on her other hand. Kait didn’t pull it back right away, instead letting it rest over his heart for a moment. They shared a look and JD gave her a sad smile.

They groaned in unison as they pushed themselves to their feet, joints popping and cracking as they stretched. Despite the strained muscles and bruises, Kait had to admit she felt well rested.

JD twisted back and forth at the waist, his elbows swinging wide as he loosened up. Kait ran her fingers through her hair and tried—and failed—to smooth it into its normal position. 

“See you in the lab, yeah?” The question was rhetorical, but Kait said it anyway as a way of saying goodbye. JD was in the middle of stretching his back with his hands on his hips, and he paused to nod.

She took the few steps to the door and keyed the controls.

“Kait,” He sounded hesitant. Kait turned and looked at him, her hand resting on the doorframe. Gears and DeeBees filtered by, oblivious to their presence. “Last night, when…” JD looked down and he blushed a little. “When I kissed you—once again, so sorry about that—you said it wasn’t…you said it wasn’t the right time.”

“Yeah.” Kait gave a small nod.

“I hope,” he looked back up at her and one half of his mouth tugged upwards. “I hope someday we find the right time.”

She gave him a tender smile. 

“Me too.”


End file.
